SIN ce or Non SIN ce

The Yard Sale Natzie

That’s what everyone started calling my Aunt Nancy.  Her yard sales are so epic that the house was notated on google maps because of it.  They are Bartlett’s like the pear.  Her husband has a bunch of brothers and sisters. Rhythm method. They are guilty as charged. One of them happens to be my stepfather.  He’s been really good to me.
 
     My Aunt is something to behold at these yard sales.  She stomps around in a blur and she runs the whole thing.  All the family come from miles around twice a year with their stuff.  They set up a circus and usually they have enough stuff there to overfill a tractor trailer.  I really like watching Nancy.  She cracks the whip.  Any questions, “Ask Nancy.”  She really enjoys it and it is was really a trip being there. 
 
    About ten years ago I had a cool mission.  A dear friend of mine was being sworn in for her dual citizenship.  She’s German and had lived here for many years before she took it upon herself to get that process completed.  I couldn’t believe that she didn’t hire a lawyer.  Homeland security tried to screw her seven ways to Sunday but they underestimated her resolve.  I had no doubts but they pissed me off on her behalf which she would scold me for as I should know better.  It was her personal journey and she didn't need me sticking my indignation into the mix.
 
   Anywho, I rocked the house at that yardsale.  I messed with their minds in good fashion.  Fashion-that ain’t my strong suit.  I like fascists myself.  Still, I told them my screwed to the wall story that popped up into my psycho/pshycic head.  What is up with the narrative of Eve?  That chick was a baddass in my estimation.  Who else would show for such a show?  They say if you don't want no shit, don’t start no shit.  That psycho whore can’t help herself.
 
    I tempered it for the gardeners who were commenced in the actives of tending their possession.  Some of them or should I say one in particular actually displayed fright..  What happened in that garden?  I say the crazy bitch cut that fruit for spite.  She’s just like that.  She loves a snake to her dying breath but she needs her man as well and hates how much she loves him.  It had to be a pear tree because I say so.  It just had to be because she’s so simple.  There is no help for that lady.  Still, he was like What?  You aren't actually sticking me with this whore? Sorry about your luck ;) 
 
   He was like well I guess I gotta live with this bitch now.  I hope that snake charms her so I can have some hope of dealing with her.  He wasn’t much of a gambler but he took his shot. She was like what the fuck are they trying to seriously tell me what the fuck to do.  You are out of luck so you better be playing with a stacked deck for sure.  He said, “Bitch if you don’t act right I’m gonna take my snake and go home!” She pouted but she bit her tongue cause even she knows when she’s been beaten at her own game.  

    Then what the do I know?  I wasn’t there? 

The fruit was no Apple, (sorry Steve, jobs are for slaves but you know I love you still.) Eve, she utilized that razor wire tongue of hers as a sword and cut from the tree of knowledge a pear.  She was fair and square and gave poor old Adam half.  When you turn that sliced pear upside down it makes the shape of half a heart.  I've got half a heart to tell you that half of a heart is a question mark ?

In other words, the landlord wanted them to eat.  It wanted us to ask the questions until we are satiated. If we are lucky we will never cross that last question off of our collective to - do lists. 

All I can say about my crazy, sleep deprived, yard sale epiphany is that you really don't gotta be that smart. 

Again, that's my story and I'm sticking to it...   

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